Reading my previous blogs and diaries made me realise that my entries were dull and immature. Like seriously wtf was I thinking??? *bangs head on desk
However, there is this innate need deep down inside me. I NEED to share my thoughts and feelings. Facebook status doesn't have enough character space for my rants. Or my need to update every so often. I remembered someone chided me once for seeing my status updates too often. Honto ni gomenasai! Hence the birth of this blog. I am determined to start afresh for 2012!
But yeah, let's talk about 2011 first. Last year didn't end too well for me. The perfect analogy would be to compare it to this.
funeral+surgery+family disrupts+heartbreak=upset Zuzu
Shit happened one after another and looking back I could have handled things better. Unfortunately I was not gifted with clairvoyant powers or could I turn back time. Wishful thinking. But half the fun is not knowing as people would say.
The problem with me is that I lack patience. I can't go with the flow. It's such a foreign and abstract concept. I'm like a child in Piaget's concrete operational stage... (bear with me, I'm nerdy that way)
"Children can now conserve and think logically but only with practical aid"
I digress. Point is, I suffered from panic attacks because I kept worrying about things that have yet to happen... thinking of WHAT IFs and SHOULD Is when I should just wait and see. Not to mention getting angry at people who gave me the right advice but I was too hard headed and egoistical.
See, I knew what was wrong with me but why can't I do things right the first time around? Making mistakes sucks when I keep going back to the past and beats myself up for it...
But I'm not the sort of person that mopes in my room and hate the world for all the injustice. Not for long.
This year's gonna be different, I can FEEEEEEEEL it.
Career wise, I'm heading on the right track. I have a clear view of what I want to do and grabbed opportunities that came my way. I got an offer as a scriptwriter and am in the process of applying for my masters. I don't want to be just your regular English teacher working at public schools. Sure, I earn my dough entering classes and try to beat the sense into pre-puberty, snot-nosed and incontinent whiny kids and I enjoy it! (Oh the masochist side of me giggles) But I want to do more! So here's to a busy year ahead!
